Life is a Journey not a Destination

This time last year I was getting ready to head off to hospital for my VSG (weight loss surgery). I was 124kg (273lbs) and unhappy with my body. Within 6 months I had reached 92kg (202lbs) and have stayed within the same couple kgs(lbs) ever since. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know how happy I am that I had the surgery - it really has changed my life.

However, today I’m actually feeling a little down about the fact I have not managed to lose any more weight. I am still obese and have at least 20kg (44lbs) to get to my goal weight. Most days I’m happy, but on others, like today, I feel like a bit of a failure. Diets just don’t work for me and unfortunately I’ve slipped back into old habits like having unhealthy snacks. Quite frankly I don’t think I’ll lose any more weight without more surgery so I’m going to see my doctor again and see what possibilities there are.

I’d been thinking about todays post for the last month or so as my “surgiversary” approached and had such hopes for great before and after photos and narrative full of optimism and hope. Not quite how it’s turned out. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite cause I love the VSG and praise it constantly, yet I’m still fat and have not reached my goal (which most people seem to do in the first year). I guess my mental issues with food did not just disappear like I’d hoped.

Anyway, I’m still 100% happy that I had the VSG, just disappointed that I didn’t make it work for me the way I should have.

Wow, 9 months since my weight loss surgery. It’s been an amazing journey. However, if you’ve seen my weight loss graph you’ll see that I’m roughly the same weight I was at the 6 month mark. It’s not like I don’t know why. This is my body’s set point where I can eat what ever I want (remember I can’t eat much at any one time) and my weight stays within 91 and 92kg. Unfortunatley I’ve slipped back into some old habits and enjoying too much baking and cookies/chocolate with my cups of tea. I know what I’m doing wrong but seem unable to turn things around. I realize I have just 3 choices.

1. Accept this weight and maintain where I am now (still 20kg overweight)

2. Substitute the junk for good food and start losing again.

3. Have a bi-pass. My doctor has offered to do this free for any of clients that need it.

Now, I really don’t think I can accept staying at this weight, and I really don’t want to have more surgery so I really need to work on no.2. I still go to gym and have healthy meals - it’s just what I’m eating in between. So this afternoon I’m going to work on a meal plan for the next couple of days and do my utmost to stick to it. I feel kind of funny posting this on my blog but hope it will help keep my accountable.

Basically I need to eat more of this…

and less of this… (mind you it’s been about a year since I bought donuts and I only ate one.. we won’t talk about how many Kevin ate :-))

Wow!! What an amazing 6 months it has been. It’s really hard to believe that just 6 months ago I weighed 124kg (272lbs) and was wearing size 24 clothes. Today I am 92.1kg (202lbs) and wearing size 16. I am the fitted I have ever been and have so much energy. Kevin and I really noticed it on holidays when we could go ALL day at the theme parks (something we’ve never done before).

I know my weight loss hasn’t been great in the last month (only 1.1kgs) but I know why. I need to get back to eating healthy snacks and not buying chocolate/chips. Apparently around the 6 month mark the honeymoon is over and you need to be more careful with your food choices as you can eat more than the early days. I’ve still got quite a bit of weight to lose so I need to buckle down and get on with it.

Kevin and I were talking about how we’re still overweight and feel fat but when you look at old photos I’m amazed at just how fat I was. I knew I was big but I didn’t realize just how big. Anyway, it’s good to have them to look back on to realize how far we have both come in just 6 short months. Here’s a photo from Mexico in May last year, and on this years holiday. Doesn’t Kevin look amazing. He’s lost over 40kg (88lbs) now.

Okay, a couple of negatives to having lost so much weight. Firstly, we have a rather hard time finding each other in crowds these days. I think our eyes still look for the biggest person :-).  Secondly, though our food bill has gone down, our clothing bill has gone up. Thirdly, quite a bit of my hair has fallen out in the last month. Thank goodness I had very thick hair to start with, now it’s probably just normal. The hair loss seems to be slowing now.  Lastly, I have a lot of lose, baggy skin. I will probably have surgery to fix this later and I’m still happier with the body I’ve got now than the one I had for far too many years.

Anyway, the positives far outweigh any negatives. And the first tworeally aren’t bad negatives anyway. We are both SOOOOOO happy that we had the surgery. It really has changed our lives.

Whosh… there goes another month. It’s now 5th months since I had WLS. Can’t believe it really. I’ve lost another 3kg (I think) for a total of 31.3kg (69lbs). I know I could do better with the weight loss (just need to give up the few “treats” I have every day), but overall I’m pretty darn happy with how I’m going. School holidays start today and next weekend we’re headed off for a 2 week holiday to Surfers Paradise. It’s going to such a different experience and I so can’t wait to ride a roller coaster and see how well I fit in the seats (instead of squeezing in). It’s going to be so fun being a “normal, though still overweight” person on holidays.

Anyway, here I am today - not looking terribly glamorous as it’s an at home day - weighing 93.3kg (205lbs).

Is it truly just 4 months since I had weight loss surgery? It really seems such a long time ago. In the last month I have managed to lose another 3kg, for a total loss of 28.5kg or 62lbs. The weight loss has slowed a little the last few weeks but I know I’ve been having a few more treats than I should have (not to mention all the chocolate…).  We have decided to clean up the whole families eating and I’m not replacing any unhealthy foods as we use them up. I think it’s going to be a bit of a shock to the girls but I’m sure I can find plenty of yummy foods for us to enjoy - just need to be a bit more prepared and do more cooking at home. Exercise is still going well but I’m thinking of shaking things up a bit after Easter - not sure how yet - maybe some classes (which I haven’t done in ages).

Probably the most exciting thing is that I’m now wearing mostly size 16s. Here I am wearing my size 16 jeans last weekend. Can’t tell you how many times I reminded Kevin what size they were :-). It’s great feeling “normal”!!!!

NOTE: Above photo taken on this mornings walk - no make up, hair not done, listening to a selection of Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Justin Timberlake and Timberland (my new favourite).

I’m so enjoying life right now. I seem to have gotten myself into a great routine with a good balance of working out, cleaning, scrapbooking, helping at school (with canteen and the uniform shop), time with the girls and Kevin and even time shopping with my Mum. The house is running really well - meals are planned (as you will know from reading this blog), the house is tidy and clean, the animals are cared for, the girls are following their morning and evening routines and helping more around the house. I have time to sit at night and watch some TV with Kevin and Amy. Today I’ve been for a manicure and pedicure and am about to go do some scrapbooking. Life is just great. I know losing weight has played a HUGE part in all of this. I have more time available - since I’m not eating all day, and I have more energy due to weight loss and improved strength and fitness. I find I can get so much more done in the day and seem to be better able to cope if anything extra does come up. I certainly haven’t always been like this and it’s taken time to work out what works for me. But this is it!!! I’m loving my life right NOW!!!

Here’s some more photos taken on this mornings walk. I’m so lucky to live so close to this beautiful lake and get to see so many lovely sunrises.

Well, it’s been an absolutely amazing 3 months since my weight loss surgery. I have lost over 25kg, am under 100kg for the first time in nearly 15 years, and am fitter and stronger than I have ever been. Surgery has definitely been a life altering decision and one I am so glad I made. I am now wearing size 16 pants and 16/18 tops. Down from 22 pants and 22/24 top. WOW - just realized that’s 3 dress sizes.And here I am on the day of surgery and today for comparison.

Well, I was pretty excited this morning when I discovered my return to healthy eating and cutting out chocolate has yielded a loss of 2.8kg (6.2lbs) for the week. WOW!!! And the scales showed 100.0kg yesterday and 100.2kg today - so NEARLY under 100. I first started gaining LOTS of weight when I got married just over 15 years. I went from 88kg on my wedding day (5th Dec) to over 100kg by April. And I have never been back under 100kg since then so it’s very exciting territory I’m moving into. I still can’t believe. I’m almost like a “normal” person now :-).

Well, it was with much excitement that I shopped in the “normal size” section today. I’m down to a 16-18 in plus sizes so thought I might be shortly fitting into normal sizes. Well, not shortly, but RIGHT NOW!!!! I still can’t believe it. It has been a long, long time since I fell into the “normal” body range. In fact one pair of jeans I tried on were too tight in the legs (not suprising) but a bit too loose around the waist. I bought 2 pairs of pants for when we go away in April (since I’ll still want summer clothes but the shops will be full of winter clothes) and they already fit, albeit snuggly. Had quite a few compliments on my weight loss yesterday as most of the Mum’s hadn’t seen me for 5 weeks. I also bought a really purple nice jacket for winter - 20% off (since I have NO Winter clothes to wear). I bought the size 18 (in normal sizes) but it is too big. Will need to take it back and get a 16, or maybe even a 14, since I won’t be needing it for quite a few months.

Well, while our meals have remained pretty healthy we’ve started to slip into “holiday” mode with biscuits, chocolate, ice-cream, etc. Only a little bit (since that’s all that fits in our small stomachs) but still not the best things to be having for snacks. I’ve gone through the pantry/fridge and we’ve used up the last few “treat” foods over the last few days and I DID NOT buy any more today. I’ve got my dinner planned out and tomorrow will do some work on lunches - now that the girls will be back at school I can just have a salad or veggie stir-fry for lunch.  I’m still losing weight and have restarted the Body for Life exercise program. I have LOADS more energy than I did before and still find I’ve got some left at the end of the day - which is a real novelty.