Comparing my life

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I love my life but often find myself comparing it to those lived by many of my fav. bloggers. Unfortunately there is a BIG difference in our lifestyles – the main thing being so many are married couples, with no kids, living in the city. They have the time and freedom to do whatever they want. I wish I could remember more of what life was like back then but the old memory doesn’t work so well these days and there aren’t many photos, and definitely nothing like blogs or flickr on which I recorded daily life. I’m sure life was much more simpler – just like those of my fellow childless bloggers. We used to go the movies most weekends, had regularly weekends away, and did lots of entertaining with friends.

I know I need to stop the comparison. I have kids and our lifestyle is different and I just need to accept that. I can’t rewind the years … though it would be good if I could. Thankfully there are some bloggers I read that are at a similar stage in their life as me – with kids in school. Times change as the years go by. I really do think things are pretty good right now but I’ve been a big melancoly of late – reminicing about life before kids & life with young kids and dreaming of life when it’s just Kevin & I again. It seems we are never happy with where we’re at but life is good right now. I just need to take a bit more time to stop and smell the roses and appreciate this time in my life. I’m sure in a few years, when both the girls are in high school, I’ll be wishing for the good old days before they were teenagers :-).

14 comments

  1. Tina says:

    Libby, it’s like you were eavesdropping in my head! We started our family when I was 17 so Bill and I didn’t really have the chance to be a kid-less couple for long. And lately I’ve been thinking about how great it will be when they are all grown up and moved out so Bill and I can finally do our own thing.

    But saying that, I don’t want them to grow up too fast because, as much as I whinge and complain, I love my family, yes, even the teenagers 😉

  2. Wendy says:

    Libby, maybe you need to read some other bloggers too? If the ones you read lead you to feeling discontented, then you maybe need some balance? What do those bloggers have in their lives that you don’t and is what they have of real value or does it just appear more valuable?

  3. jody says:

    And then there is the flip side…I see my boys growing up so fast and as Oscar is about to be 18 I realise that one day very soon I won’t have all the chaos, and noise and constantly hungry boys around and I am already getting a little sad. Byron is 14 and I may just have to try and stop him getting any older LOL

  4. Libby Withnall says:

    The blogs in question are the healthy food blogs I read – which I obviously get a lot of motivation and inspiration from – but almost all of them are in their late twenties with no kids! Most of my Aussie blog friends are Mum’s like me so I do get a balance. Meanwhile I keep looking for Mum health food bloggers – at this stage I’ve only found one I really like – and she hardly blogs these days as she’s home schooling. It’s not like I want to be these bloggers I just guess I just wish blogs had been around when I was younger. I’m sure it would help if I could remember more about that time in life :-).

  5. Leanne says:

    Oh Libby, all very normal, I would have thought. Sometimes it is tough. I can imagine for you too, that your girls are starting to get to the age will it will tougher, but there is always the flipside, they become lovely young adults, we hope, (this about me too now) and you have the best of everything, time to do what you want to do, and to be able to enjoy your children as adults. I hope this makes sense. I just keep remembering what I keep telling Briony whenever she wishes she were grown up, “don’t wish your life away, because you can’t get it back, you need to learn to enjoy it now, it all happens too soon.”
    Laenne

  6. Lisa (bakebikeblog) says:

    Hi Libby! I know I fall into the catergory of “blogger-who-is-in-her-twenties-who-has-no-kids” and I hope that you would never feel discontented when reading my blog. As a gal who would desperately love to start a family (but is waiting to be blessed with such a gift) I also know how hard it is to stop making comparisons. During a yoga class a while back my instructor said to us “trust that you are where you need to be right now” and it is something that has stuck with me since. Yes – Mr BBB and I would love to have children, but I just need to trust that it is not yet our time 🙂 Hope that makes sense xx

  7. Rachel says:

    aahh what a sad post, im the other way i cant wait to get married and have babies and just bored of waiting. I figure we dont do anything or go anywhere anyway lol

  8. Ninny says:

    Well, Libby, I am here to speak from experience…teenage girls are no fun at all!!! Having barely lived through my daughter’s angst and dramatics, I am relishing the old saying “what goes around comes around” and am delighting in the fact that she is now a parent and will see just how hard parenting is. That being said, I’m 58, have survived menopause, and The Hub and I love our empty nest! Our adult children are now cool, they have given us sweet little babies to love on, and life is good again. I am more mature in my spiritual life, am at peace with who I am, and love my life. Patience, sweet one….life will be better each day and you will appreciate every moment both past and present. P.S. You and Kevin need a date night now and then.

    Liz

  9. Darren (Green Change) says:

    Hehe, happens to us all. After years of searching and yearning, we finally moved to our dream block and now barely have the time to do any of the stuff we dreamed about! Do what you can with what you’ve got :-).

    A quote a keep thinking of: “Bloom where you’re planted”.

  10. Karen says:

    oh, libby, we here in america have a saying: the grass is always greener. i’m one of those single, childless women who wishes she was YOU! 🙂

  11. Paola says:

    Hi Libby, just caught up with this post. You might have gathered from my blog my kids are 10 and 12, and I often have attacks of the deja vus – as if I’ve done this kid routine to death. It seems to be getting worse, too – as their social life expands, mine contracts to that of taxi driver. Sigh. Having said that, I also have the feeling of time passing extremely fast, and I know that this stage will go past quickly.
    I posted a few weeks about having a few days off motherhood, when my husband took the kids away for a few days. I stayed home, but running my own routine and pleasing myself even for that time was FANTASTIC. Just the tonic I needed. Maybe you could do something similar, by yourself, with a friend or with Kevin. Just a thought.

  12. A Vision Splendid says:

    I look at your life Libby and think it is so wonderful. I have always admired your honesty and the effort you go to with your home management and family days out etc.

    It seems that we all dismiss the value of our own life when comparing ourselves to others. I also think that bloggers are often only showing the very best of themselves and if you skimmed through their sites they would appear quite perfect, like some sort of advertisement.

    My boys are 12 and 9 and I don’t get a lot of ‘me’ time or ‘us’ time with Hubbie. But, I think that there are seasons in life and this is our season to intensively mother. I think it will change as the kids get older and we may even miss these days.

    {hug}

    Michelle

  13. Kez says:

    {{HUGS}} I know how you feel – I go through the same thing at times. When that happens, I know its time to step away and stop reading other blogs / email groups for a while until I’m content again.

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