Family Meeting

A months ago when the girls were really causing me a lot of stress Kevin came up with the idea of having a weekly family meeting. That way we could address any problems and discuss possible solutions and hopefully come up with an outcome that everyone is happy with.

(untitled)

I set up a bowl with blank paper and pen so that anyone can write down things of concern during the week.

(untitled)

Then as we have dinner on a Monday night I read out the notes from last weeks meeting (which are written up in a notebook) and we discuss that.

IMG_1484

We then go through the papers one by one discussing them and anything else anyone wants to raise. Our first meeting took FOREVER (remember this when they were driving me mad) but we’re now down to 15 – 30mins or so. Most of the issues are to deal with kids mess or kids behaviour and we try not to get angry or frustrated but instead ask them how the issue could/should be resolved. Amy tends to get very defensive and feels like we’re picking on her but I think that’s just the tween stage. This week I raised the issue of pocket money – so it’s not all negatives. Last week Amy wanted to be able to do homework in the scrapbook/computer room when needed (with no one else in the room) – this was agreed to.

(untitled)

I think as kids get older and less time is spent together that this meeting is a great way to resolve any conflict within the family. And it gives everyone a say in the decisions made. We hold our meetings weekly on a Monday night but you could do so any night, or even have a fortnightly or monthly meeting. I believe keeping written notes is crucial because when the kids disagree with me about something we decided, I can consult the notes and remind them what the decision was.

If you decide to hold a family meeting please let me know how it goes.

5 comments

  1. Mercy says:

    My daughters and I have had a tough few years since their Dad left. Our family dynamics changed a lot, and I suffered a great deal and wasnt able to hold as much together as I would have liked.
    This weekend brings a new start for us, we move back into our own home, just the 3 of us after living with my parents and brothers the past 7 months.

    My 8 year old is giving me a lot of attitude and is getting lazy after being spoiled by my mother, and in turn my 4 year old follows her sisters lead.

    I think the family meeting idea might be a good one for us, to show them Mum is back in charge and strong again and they have to help pull their weight, as well as connecting a little deeper.

    Ill let you know in the coming weeks how it goes. (Sooooo many boxes to upack first!!) I am glad it is working out for you and your family Libby.

  2. Linda J says:

    hahaha! great idea, Libby. You’re a natural born facilitator.

    To make sure the meetings aren’t just about tabling complaints, might also be a good idea to ask everyone to highlight one thing each week that’s working well…

  3. Libby Withnall says:

    Sorry to hear to having troubles with your kids as well. Definitely try the family meeting a couple of times. I find it so good that everyone can have their say and have input into family rules and expectations. I’m sure it will make your 8 year old feel grown up too. I have a lot of trouble with the younger picking up the older ones bad habits too :-). Kids!!!

  4. Sweet Tea says:

    Be sure to keep your notebook with all your notes.
    When the kids are older you’ll love looking back at all the memories – the good and the not-so-good. Raising teens/tweens is hard work. Great idea.

  5. Jackie says:

    I think this is a wonderful idea Libby, keeps the lines of comunication open which you will benefit from when the girls are in their mid teens. I think it’s important for children to contribute to the running of the family, makes them feel valued.

Comments are closed.