Looking back

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Sometimes I get a bit frustrated with how much more weight I still need to lose but then I take a look at where I’ve come from. Looking at the old fat photos nearly always makes me cry. I had no idea I was quite so big. I never let my weight hold me back – I did nearly everything I wanted to but I so wish I could go back and get new photos :-).

Our first visit to the temple in 2005…

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And now…

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And inĀ  2007 with my best friend, Leanne …

Libby & Leanne 2007

and 2009…

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A year ago today

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This time last year I was getting ready to head off to hospital for my VSG (weight loss surgery). I was 124kg (273lbs) and unhappy with my body. Within 6 months I had reached 92kg (202lbs) and have stayed within the same couple kgs(lbs) ever since. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know how happy I am that I had the surgery – it really has changed my life.

However, today I’m actually feeling a little down about the fact I have not managed to lose any more weight. I am still obese and have at least 20kg (44lbs) to get to my goal weight. Most days I’m happy, but on others, like today, I feel like a bit of a failure. Diets just don’t work for me and unfortunately I’ve slipped back into old habits like having unhealthy snacks. Quite frankly I don’t think I’ll lose any more weight without more surgery so I’m going to see my doctor again and see what possibilities there are.

I’d been thinking about todays post for the last month or so as my “surgiversary” approached and had such hopes for great before and after photos and narrative full of optimism and hope. Not quite how it’s turned out. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite cause I love the VSG and praise it constantly, yet I’m still fat and have not reached my goal (which most people seem to do in the first year). I guess my mental issues with food did not just disappear like I’d hoped.

Anyway, I’m still 100% happy that I had the VSG, just disappointed that I didn’t make it work for me the way I should have.

9 Months Post Op

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Wow, 9 months since my weight loss surgery. It’s been an amazing journey. However, if you’ve seen my weight loss graph you’ll see that I’m roughly the same weight I was at the 6 month mark. It’s not like I don’t know why. This is my body’s set point where I can eat what ever I want (remember I can’t eat much at any one time) and my weight stays within 91 and 92kg. Unfortunatley I’ve slipped back into some old habits and enjoying too much baking and cookies/chocolate with my cups of tea. I know what I’m doing wrong but seem unable to turn things around. I realize I have just 3 choices.

1. Accept this weight and maintain where I am now (still 20kg overweight)

2. Substitute the junk for good food and start losing again.

3. Have a bi-pass. My doctor has offered to do this free for any of clients that need it.

Now, I really don’t think I can accept staying at this weight, and I really don’t want to have more surgery so I really need to work on no.2. I still go to gym and have healthy meals – it’s just what I’m eating in between. So this afternoon I’m going to work on a meal plan for the next couple of days and do my utmost to stick to it. I feel kind of funny posting this on my blog but hope it will help keep my accountable.

Basically I need to eat more of this…

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and less of this… (mind you it’s been about a year since I bought donuts and I only ate one.. we won’t talk about how many Kevin ate :-))

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